


connor may or may not be a scaley

by ren_sauce



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M, Merman Evan, basically connor wakes up on a beach with evan and is like 'well this might as well happen', evan doesn't understand english that well, get these boys some help, he is but a simple fish man, idk man i wrote this half asleep during a depressive episode while watching himym, inspired by softmushie's au on tumblr, mermaid au, so it's pretty shitty, whatever just take it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 12:21:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15863526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ren_sauce/pseuds/ren_sauce
Summary: “Stay the fuck away from me!” The human snarled in his strange, pebbly language. “What the fuck are you?!”---idk man mermaid au i guess





	connor may or may not be a scaley

**Author's Note:**

> I DONT KNOW OKAY IM TIRED AND DEPRESSED AND LEAVE ME ALONE DAMMIT

Oh no. Oh dear. Oh gods.

Evan chirped hopelessly in the back of his throat, his tail slapping the water anxiously. Was it hurt? It wasn’t moving. Was it dead? Humans were such fragile creatures…

Evan chirped again, nudging the humans cheek gently. Its long, limp hair tickled his nose like washed up kelp. The human let out a small noise, stirring slightly, before it went limp again. Evan whined helplessly, nosing its cheek again, harder this time. It groaned, tilting its face away from him. Evan squeaked hopefully, full on butting his forehead against the humans face.

It groaned again, raising a weak arm to bat him away gently.

“Fuck off, Zo…” It mumbled, eyelids slipping open (only one set, huh) to reveal sleepy blue eyes, like a calm sea at low tide, a slice of brown hidden in one of their corners. Those eyes zeroed in on Evans face, suddenly darkening like the eye of a whirlpool.

“The fuck?!” It cried, scrambling away from him, hands scrabbling over the moist, clumpy sand. “Who the fuck are you?!” It snarled, like a kelpie. Its voice sounded quite masculine. Perhaps it was a male? It seemed aggressive. Males were usually aggressive. Especially human males.

Its – his? - sea-storm eyes flicked down to the fins behind Evan’s ears, the pearly blue-green scales dusting down his neck to his chest, gradually increasing until they became a long, thick tail. He gasped, his hurricane eyes widening in shock and horror.

Evan chirruped curiously, quietly asking permission as he crawled towards the human. It – _he_ \- looked so scared. Evan knew how that felt. Maybe he could help him…

“Stay the fuck away from me!” The human snarled in his strange, pebbly language. “What the fuck are you?!”

Evan frowned, cocking his head. The human repeated that word quite a lot. Perhaps if he learned his language, the human would feel more comfortable? He was too far away for Evan to perform a language transfer, though… Maybe he could just try to mimic it?

“F…” Evan mumbled, leaning closer as the human scrambled away from him. “Fuh… Fuck?”

The humans mouth fell open, eyes wide.

“You…” He whispered in horror. “You can…”

Evan huffed, flicking his tail exasperatedly. That wasn’t the outcome he wanted. It would be a lot easier if he could do a language transfer, but the human seemed so scared, Evan didn’t want to frighten it even more…

“Fuck?” He said again. Could it understand him? “Fuck.”

“Stop! Doing that!” The human shrieked, grabbing a fistful of sand and tossing it at him. Evan growled, his ear fins flicking in frustration. He rolled his eyes, grabbed the humans damp, threadbare shirt, and pressed their lips together firmly.

“Mph!” The human yelped. Evan kept them pressed up close, his brain fizzing with new information. Sparks began to fly from their connected lips, making the human squeak helplessly. After a moment, the transfer was done. Evan pulled back, blinking slowly as the rush in his brain slowed to a stop.

“Hello?” He mumbled, testing the humans language. It felt odd and foreign on his tongue. “Hello.”

“What the _fuck?!”_ He shrieked, scrambling back even further.

“W-Wait!” Evan squeaked, holding onto the humans torn, worn out boot gently. “I… I did not… _Mean_ … to scare you…” He said slowly, frowning as the words formed. Was that how it was supposed to sound? Why did human words have so many meanings? Why did so many human words mean the same thing? He cleared his throat awkwardly. “I am… M-My name…” He frowned, eyebrows knitting together, trying to find the correct words. “I am called Evan. What – What are you called?”

“I…” The human frowned, narrowing its eyes at him suspiciously. “I am… _Way_ too high for this….”

Evan cocked his head. “You are… On the ground? I do not… I do not think that’s high. For humans, at least…”

“Wh- no, you’re-!” The human huffed and leaned up, grabbing Evans face. His hands were soft and cold, long fingers cupping his jaw gently. “What the fuck...?” He frowned, tilting Evans face side to side. “Are you real or am I crazy?”

“Um. I… Believe I am real…?” Evan mumbled awkwardly. The human huffed out a small, amused noise, his lips twitching upwards slightly.

“The hell are you?” He murmured, his fingers ghosting over Evans skin. His breathing hitched slightly as his fingers caught on the scales dotted over Evans face. “Are you, like… Are you an actual mermaid or something?”

“Um.” Evan said quietly. The humans hands felt nice on his skin, already drying out from being out in the sun for so long. “I… Am Evan?”

“Evan?” The human frowned. The fins around Evans ears perked up at hearing his name on the human’s tongue, watching his lips form the shapes of his name. His eyes flicked back to the humans face – oh, he was supposed to say something. Okay.

“Yes.” He said, leaning back subconsciously. “You are… Human… A-And I am… Evan…?” His brows furrowed gently. “It – It sounds different, in your tongue.”

The human spluttered. “My _what?!”_

“Tongue?” Evan frowned. “Language? You have… Many words, they are… Difficult, to understand. I’m sorry.”

“Oh!” The human sighed in what seemed like relief. “Yeah, yeah, that…”

“… Okay.” Evan hummed awkwardly. “So. Y-You are… Human?”

“Uh – no. I mean-“ The human waved his hands vaguely. “Like, yeah, I’m human, but that’s not my name. My name’s Connor.”

“Connor…” Evan frowned, testing the name on his tongue. “I do not understand… How can you be human, but… Not human?”

“No – I _am_ human, I just-!” Connor growled in frustration. “Is everyone of you called Evan?”

“N-No, I…” Evan bit his lip and looked away in confusion. “My kind – we don’t really… Have a name. We don’t – we do not have a label for ourselves. We are not all the same. So… We do not have the same name.”

“Well…” Connor frowned. “Humans aren’t all the same, and we don’t all have the same name… We just – we call our… _group,_ humans?”

“My group does not have a name.” Evan hummed, crawling up the beach so he could settle next to the human on his belly. “They are just my group. Family. Do humans not have that?”

“We’re _supposed_ to…” Connor grumbled, laying down on his back. “Jesus. This is fucking insane.”

Evan frowned. He didn’t understand what that was supposed to mean, what any of this was supposed to mean. Humans were such strange creatures…

“Where’s your pod?” Evan asked gently. Connor frowned at him strangely.

“My what?”

“Pod.” Evan echoed. “Group? Family? Whatever they’re called in your language…”

Connor scowled at the sky. “Those fuckers? I doubt they’ve even noticed I’m gone yet…”

“What?” Evan gasped in shock. “Can they not track you? I knew humans senses were bad, I didn’t know they were _that_ bad-!“

“No!” Connor huffed. “They’re not – their senses work fine, or – whatever. They just don’t give a shit.”

“Um.” Evan frowned. “I do not – is that the correct phrase?”

“What?”

“Sorry. Your language is… Very new to me. How – how can they not give – do they have any digestion problems?”

“Wh- no!” Connor barked a laugh, kind of like a seal. “No, they’re not – they don’t have any problems or whatever. I mean, if you don’t count the stick up Larry’s ass, but-“

“The _what?!”_

“No!” Connor corrected. “No, sorry, that’s – that’s a joke, he doesn’t _actually_ – oh god…” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I mean they don’t care. About me. I could’ve fuckin’ died out there and they wouldn’t’ve cared.”

Evan cocked his head, looking at Connor curiously. “But…” He mumbled. “They are your pod. Your pack, yes? Wouldn’t they be sad?”

“Are you kidding?” Connor chuckled bitterly. “They’d be glad to see me gone. I bet they’re celebrating right now, the bastards…”

Evan whined in the back of his throat quietly, sidling up so he was pressed against Connors side and nuzzled his nose into his neck.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured as Connor squeaked above him. “I… I don’t quite understand how that would feel, but I understand some of it. My mother… She is kind, but…” Evan sighed, nosing further into the bend of Connors shoulder. “I feel like I exhaust her. Do you feel that?”

“Seriously? All the fuck damn time.” Connor sighed. He groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Am I seriously venting out my feelings to a fucking mermaid?”

“A what?”

“Nothing.” Connor sighed. “This is just… Really fuckin’ weird to me.”

“Me, too.” Evan said softly, curling his tail around Connor’s legs protectively.

“Are you going to eat me?”

“What?!” Evan cried, almost choking on air. “Wh- No, I-I wouldn’t – I would never-!”

Connor laughed suddenly, his voice raspy and sharp.

“Alright, alright!” He chuckled, eyes drifting down to the bend of Evan’s waist where his body changed from skin to scale. “Nice tail.” He stated.

“Oh!” Evan squeaked, pulling his tail to his chest self-consciously. “It’s not – it isn’t that great…”

“I mean, I’m no expert, but it looks pretty sweet to me.” Connor shrugged, lowering his hand to brush over Evan’s scales.

“It – It’s really not…” Evan mumbled into Connor’s shoulder. “The fin, it – it tore a few summers ago and it never really healed the same…”

“Yeah?” Connor frowned, distracted, fascinated with the feel of the scales under his palm. “What happened?”

He remembered the shadow of the boat turning their reef dark. He remembered the harpoon piercing his tail, pulling him to the waters surface. He remember Jared biting the rope apart, pulling Evan into a nearby sea cave – there was barely enough room for the two of them, he’d been so scared that they’d be found – and he remembered Jared ripping the harpoon from his tail, forcing him to bite down on a piece of sponge to keep him from screaming.

He remembered how he didn’t even try to do anything to stop it. How he just let himself be dragged away. How he couldn’t even muster the strength to keep going.

Kind of like Connor when he fell off the boat in the middle of the night.

“Evan?”

How he just fell forward, eyes shut, almost content.

“Evan?”

Did he even really fall?

“Evan!”

Evan gasped, pulling himself up.

“I-I have to go.” He whispered, pulling himself back to the sea. This was too much, too real, too – _like him_.

“Wh- hey, wait!” Connor cried, grabbing Evan’s wrist.

“Connor, let me go.” Evan growled, the fins on his ears flattening dangerously. Connor’s eyes widened. He sighed and looked away, dropping Evan’s wrist.

“Fine.” He huffed, flopping back onto the sand. “Bye.”

Evan frowned, his fins relaxing. He looked from Connor to the sea, whining in the back of his throat. Why was this such a hard decision?

“I’ve…” He murmured, curling his tail around himself protectively. “I – I have never met anyone like you before, Connor.”

“Yeah?” Connor said to the sky. “Me neither. I mean, I guess that kinda goes without saying, but…”

“I…” Evan said softly, almost inaudible over the gentle crashing of the waves. “I would like to see you again…”

Connor looked up at him hopefully.

“If – if that’s okay!” Evan said quickly. “I-I mean, you probably – you wouldn’t want to – I’m sorry-“

Suddenly Connor’s lips were on his.

Evan froze. He didn’t understand – humans weren’t able to perform language transfers, were they? Why was Connor doing this? It – well, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel nice, but… He didn’t understand.

Connor pulled back slowly, looking up at Evan through hooded eyes. Evan felt a small shiver run up his spine.

“Sorry…” Connor mumbled, looking away. “I just – I figured… Y’know, if this is just some dream or whatever… I wanted to do that before I woke up.”

“Um.” Evan said dumbly, still stunned from – _whatever_ that was. “I… I don’t think this is a dream.”

“Yeah?” Connor smiled bitterly.

“Yeah.” Evan said gently, shuffling forward along the sand so that he was sitting only centimetres away from Connor. “Well, um – I mean, I-I hope it isn’t…”

He cupped Connor’s jaw gently, slipping his eyes shut and brushing his nose over Connor’s gently, like he’d seen the mated couples in his pod do. He’d always thought of doing that as embarrassing – far too intimate, far too invasive. He always thought he’d hate it, but with Connor… It just felt close. Comfortable. Safe.

“I’d like to see you again, too, Evan.” Connor said gently. “So you’d better not be a stupid dream, alright? Or I’m kicking your ass.”

Evan smiled mischievously. “If I were a dream, how would you be able to do that?”

“Shut up.” Connor said with no real bite. His eyes flicked down to Evan’s mouth. Evan wasn’t sure why that excited him so much. Connor leaned in slowly. Evan felt his eyes close.

“Connor?!”

Connor jumped back, his head snapping to the other side of the beach.

“Fuck.” He said quietly. “My parents.”

Sure enough, the same boat Connor had fallen from was docked at the pier a long way down the beach. A young female human was standing at the wooden pier, waving her hands over her head.

“I have to go.” Evan whispered, turning to dive back into the sea and swim as fast as he could.

“Uh – wait!” Connor said quickly, grabbing his hand. “I, uh. My parents, they have barbecues down here all through the summer, it’s like – white suburban family 101.” Evan had no idea what that meant, but he kept listening. “I’m not sure when they’ll have them, but… I-If you want, um…” Connor mumbled awkwardly. “I could sneak down by the cliffs. People won’t be able to see us down there.”

Evan smiled, brushing his nose over Connor’s again.

“I’ll be there.” He said firmly. “You’re very strange, Connor.”

Connor chuckled gently, letting his hand linger on Evan’s before he let go.

“Not so bad yourself, Ev.”

The girl was walking towards them now. She looked angry, but... Also kind of relieved. Evan gave Connor one last smile, then turned tail and dove into the water, swimming back to the reef.

Jared was going to throw a fit when he got back...

**Author's Note:**

> IT SUCKS BUT I STAND BY IT


End file.
